CHILDREN

CHILDREN

Children and Teen's Page


What is going on with the children?


Innocent little children should be the best indicators that true gender variation can arise, not necessarily always from mental illness, demonic influence, fads or political ideations, but from exposure to environmental toxins that are estrogen/hormone mimics and chromosome or enzyme mutants. These toxins can disrupt a baby’s gender development in utero or possibly after birth.


When small children today protest their assigned gender from the time they can talk and acquire an awareness of who they are, they speak from their own unbiased sense of self. They are too young to understand the complications of today’s gender debate.


Parents! (Do NOT) Blame the parents!!!

Many people, especially in the older generations, blame the parents. They assume the parents raised their children in a gender neutral manner, which confused them. In most cases this simply does not fly. These thousands of well intentioned parents raised their children normally, mistakenly assuming they were the gender their visible anatomy suggested at birth.

We also need to give parents credit that they do understand that children pretend play at times to be dinosaurs, imaginary creatures, or the opposite gender. “Cis” boys may play with dolls or enjoy cooking and girls may join a 'gunfight’ or notice cars and trucks, without instant concerns that they are gender variant.

Yes, there are exceptions, i.e. a few cases of parents or grandparents who cross-dress their child. A few others choose not to assume their child's gender at birth. They prefer to wait and observe the child's natural behavior and preferences for confirmation. There are countries and locations in the USA that do not require a gender marker on birth certificates, or the parents are given extra time to declare their child's gender.

Parents of truly misidentified children often endure bitter blame from their child for raising them in the wrong gender, so a degree of initial hesitancy may be somewhat understandable today. Parents may be fearful to assume their newborns are actually the gender they appear to be.


However, the above instances are not common parenting choices.


Parents and infants

 Unfortunately, today, it is impossible to be absolutely sure of a child's gender at birth. The brain structure/anatomy/function and other unknown factors are not visible or adequately testable. They may not match the lower, visible anatomy.

Nevertheless, many experts still insist children need gender. Indeed, in most cases it is exceedingly difficult to raise a child gender neutral because the children themselves gravitate to the gender they naturally “are”. Parents can be watchful and remain flexible if the child insistently, consistently and persistently challenges their assumed gender, and deal with it then.


Some infants are born with visibly unidentifiable anatomy or both male and female anatomy. Urinary defects and other anatomical mix-ups may also be present that need correction as soon as practical. These babies are often surgically transitioned as infants. Professionals and parents try their best to determine which gender the child may later prove to be.


 However, the true gender variant community strongly warns that performing irreversible surgeries on an infant before there is opportunity to carefully observe the child’s behaviors and preferences can result in a wrong choice that the child must miserably endure for a lifetime.

(https://interactadvocates.org/)


 Parents, preschoolers and grade school age children

The vast majority of truly gender variant children ARE mistakenly assigned gender at birth based on visible anatomy, as usual. In most cases these little children have no knowledge of the only recently emerged, social transgender scene. Their only perceptions may be that they are NOT the girl or boy they are assumed to be and do not wish to be treated as such.


Reports of daily struggles over clothes, swimsuits, hair styles, and toys are common for these children. Parents agonize over the implications, not only for their child, but they endure undeserved blame from judgmental family and friends for "purposely confusing" their child.


The truth of these cases is that the parents may resist the child's protests for a long time. They may need professional counseling and endure a grief process before they accept that their child is not the gender originally assumed. These parents are all too aware that gender variant people do not have easy lives, and are more likely to be abused, even murdered, or commit suicide.


Eventually though, in the face of an insistent, consistent and persistent child, these parents may allow the child to try out a “persona only” change (hair, clothes, toys, etc.). Young, conflicted children have time during the latent grade school years, before puberty, to "try on" the possibility that they are gender variant through a persona transition.


If there is prayer, cooperation between their parents, competent professionals, and hopefully a supportive praying church, they may arrive into puberty and adulthood better experienced and able to reassess and choose an appropriate path forward.


 Parents, teens and puberty

In a number of cases the rush of hormones at puberty may rebalance body systems, the children outgrow their gender dissonance, and the crisis fades, a happy solution indeed.


However, in other cases intersex children continue to dread the appearance of puberty with its undesired developmental changes that do not match who they actually are. Puberty blockers are intended to give the child/teen extra time to assess their situation as they mature before secondary developments take place that are not simple to reverse.


Puberty blockers are controversial. They are also used to slow prostate cancer in terminal patients. The cancer patients eventually do pass away, which creates an irrelevant illusion that the puberty blockers have a high fatality rate. However, although puberty usually restarts when the blockers are discontinued, they still may have side effects and there are no adequate longitudinal studies to assess their consequences over a lifetime.


Parents are very aware of these issues and worry extremely about them. However, parents and society are still faced with youngsters who are terrified of developments that do not match their gender, and possibly more grim attempts and interventions to suppress or remove them later.


 There have been political efforts to curtail their use of puberty blockers and restrict government programs from funding them. There are no answers to this situation. We can all help by going up stream from this horrific situations, closing wallets, and curtailing our use of disruptive toxins that caused most of the trouble in the first place.




Parents, Teens, Hormones and Surgery

As gender variant teens get older true cross sex hormones and surgery become available options. Recently though, they have been limited to young people of age. They create irreversible lifetime changes that must be very carefully considered.


Surgeries are ghastly, painful, expensive, are susceptible to infection and occasional death. They also require permanent maintenance and monitoring routines. They are not at all ideal nor is there a comfortingly long safety history and establish long term side effects. Parents worry extremely about these knowns and unknowns.


 Ideally it makes sense to wait until the teen is able as a mature adult to evaluate the lifelong consequences of major interventions. Older mature intersex adults are generally much slower to choose surgery, if ever, although most of them do want it. Due to the many risks they often content themselves with hormones and persona transition.


Young People Who Shift Gender in Their Teens – Sorting the Fads from the Serious Cases

Some young teens undergo a dramatic and apparently true gender shift in their teens for which they had not shown signs in childhood. Several factors have been suggested that could be at play.

  • Mandated injected vaccine boosters that teens undergo in high school or for college entrance contain ingredients that are themselves endocrine disruptors.
  • Puberty may exacerbate latent issues and the preteens or teens finally put words to something they had not been able to identify, quietly outgrow, overcome or pray away.
  • The internet, or friends, fads, and trends may influence young people to experiment with gender. However, we must consider that in some cases these factors may be a result, not a cause, of a young person’s inborn gender dissonance.


 Discerning Real Cases vs. Teen Fads

Teens often jump on fads and bandwagons or follow friends into all manner of "cool”, attention getting behaviors. They influence each other significantly.


However, the “transgender bandwagon” is not an easy one. There are no social advantages, there is often a high incidence of rejection, losses of employment, family and friends, rest room challenges, and a higher chance of beatings or even murder.


 If the teen adopts some degree of persona transition, then they have to settle down and live life in the gender they believe they actually “are”. If they are not truly gender variant, the "fad" will likely fade. In many cases it does fade. It may help if parents and others around them allow them to work through the matter themselves without backing them into a corner.


 Supporting Real Gender Variant Teens Who Are Desperate

Conversely, if a child or teen is truly desperately gender variant and is not heard or taken seriously (and in some cases even if they are), they do have a higher rate of suicide. They also may disappear from the family circle to join a community that understands them (or possibly opportunists who take advantage of them).


 There are examples of young persons who, in their desperation to seek medical assistance, permanently leave a loving, accepting family before the family is able to settle on a workable cooperative plan of action.

Often social acceptance of a "persona" transition from key persons in the individual’s life helps normalize the suicide rate and may minimize the desire for drastic interventions.


As the teen awaits consideration of invasive interventions parents can celebrate their teen’s accomplishments in education, music, art, science sports, or wherever the teen’s interests and skills shine. Parents can honor their name and pronouns and accept the teen’s individuality in all aspects, not just their gender.


These and other supportive strategies may assist their teen to move on with life and find absorbing interests to distract from their (significant) dysphoria as they wait to mature.


However, if a teen is increasingly traumatized, of course, prayer, professional and medical guidance, earnest Scriptural encouragement, social acceptance and fellowship, is crucial to determine the wisest path for a seriously miserable and desperate young person or adult.


 The "Wanna-Be" Crowd

The "wanna-be" phenomenon requires discernment. These are individuals who are likely not significantly gender variant, if at all. They may be following a current trend or fad or other reasons to consider some degree of transition.


Discernment between a valid case of gender variation and a “wanna-be” can be a challenge for parents, pastors and other supporting individuals. Often an experienced, truly gender variant mature adult is better equipped to pick out those cases that are likely a poor risk for persona transition, hormones or surgery.


“Wanna-be’s” may be mildly variant, ie., a butch girl or effeminate boy, or may just be jumping on a fad. Family issues, social circumstances, curiosity, abuse or other factors may cause a person to desire a gender transition who would not have considered it years ago when the option was unknown.


Signs of “wanna-be’s” may include a lack of gender dysphoria. Their language is often that they "want to be" the opposite gender (hence the term “wanna-be”). They may express that “girls have it easier”, or there is a fixation/desire to obtain a specific body part.

A truly gender variant adult may counsel these people that they do not appear seriously affected enough to consider transition.

A truly, strongly gender variant person will often insist, persistently and consistently, “I want to transition because ‘I AM’ (the gender they insist they ARE).”



Children Who Are A-Gender and Gender Fluid


Some children appear to be a-gender, ie, they do not identify male or female. However, development of secondary sex characteristics in puberty may still upset them extremely.


As with other types of gender variations, they simply want to be accepted, loved and appreciated for who they are—funny, athletic, creative, curious, studious. They do not wish to be forced into a mold they do not fit.


Finally, the most confusing piece of gender variation may be children who appear to be "gender fluid". They may identify male part of the time and female part of the time. To onlookers this appears a "convenience" situation, but in some cases it is a real phenomenon and requires prayer and understanding from our Father Who knows, understands and loves each of His children.


Clearly we do not have the science or answers to explain these puzzling anomalies. The rest of the transgender/intersex community respects these people but they do not understand them or relate to this variation. They themselves are usually very definite who they are and remain so.


Once more, these precious gender fluid children, young people, and adults deserve our acceptance and appreciation as they contribute their unique gifts, their love, value and service to our society.



 Gender Variant Kids in Rest Rooms and Locker Rooms


It makes sense that true gender variant teen girls with unwanted male anatomy are traumatized if forced to use an all male locker room or rest room. Conversely, “cis” girls may be traumatized by male anatomy in a girl’s locker room or rest room.


Supervision, curtains, privacy doors, family rest rooms and private dressing rooms are all options to ease privacy issues for gender variant girls. Frankly, many “cis” girls themselves also appreciate privacy. Most small businesses already have single stall or family bathrooms and large stores and venues have the cash to install them. Today these options are commonplace.


Gender variant people also need to cooperate as possible with the choices that are practically available.


Gender Variant Kids in Sports?


Admittedly sports accommodation is a tough call. However, in today’s wide spectrum of gender variance, there are already somewhat masculinized “butch” cis girls and women and somewhat effeminate cis boys and men.


In these cases their identity matches their birth anatomy, but they may be built with opposite gender frames and skills that give them a natural advantage or disadvantage in sports. Perhaps it would be more reasonable to divide sports teams according to physical characteristics (height, weight, build, muscular coordination), rather than by gender, so physical structure and skills are more evenly matched. As stated above, privacy adjusted dressing rooms can be provided as needed. NO this is not a perfect solution. It’s a hard call no matter how it is handled.


Gender Variant Kids and Names and Pronouns


It makes sense that everyone on earth wants to be called by their real name, the one they actually "are". Even God says I “am” Who I “am!”. He expects to be addressed by His Name and His Scriptural, Biblical gender that He Himself defines, this even considering that He, as Creator of gender, displays characteristics of both genders.


To repeat, names and pronouns are extremely important to all children and all adults. To disrespect a gender variant child’s name is a serious way to provoke anger and frustration, which is warned against in Scripture. Gender variant people usually tolerate mistakes (painfully!) while those around them adjust, but to intentionally "dead name them” is not excused. This is perceived as a violent emotional attack on their person.


How can we win a child or teen to Christ if we contempt their very name or refuse to use matching pronouns?

Gender variant children, teens and the transgender/intersex community in general are so distressed by misnaming and wrong pronouns that they prefer plural "they" and "them", because those pronouns are gender neutral. Some have coined new pronouns, but if gender variant people are accepted and wisely supported, they may be less likely to adopt them.


These adjustments may be difficult for the rest of us to remember or choose to cooperate with, but after all, we the cis community, produced these children. We ignored warnings from those who sensed danger. As a society we embraced the chemicals that have driven many of these changes. The least we can do is accept those who are affected and help them to be more comfortable, as is possible.


Understanding Why, and the Scriptural Role of People of Faith and the Church in the Gender Variation Situation


It is true that God stated in the Book of Genesis that He created us male and female and the gender variant community is aware of this passage. However, that is not all God had to say about gender. There are other relevant passages that make provision for those with gender related birth defects and injuries.


God foreknew sin would create chaos and affect gender. He made provision for it.

God gave specific instruction in Isaiah 56:4,5 for the proper behavior of those who were both male and female (a type of eunuch) and conversely how others should treat them. The eunuch was to live for God, AND to be accepted within the walls of the temple.

God also gave them a memorial and a name better than sons and daughters. (Note He carefully did NOT state “instead of”, sons and daughters. Most people who are both male and female are infertile, but not necessarily all. Some variations are fertile but their brain does not completely match their body.)


God switched from using singular pronouns earlier in Isaiah 56 to plural gender-neutral wording in connection with the eunuch.

God specified that His House was to be a House of Prayer for ALL peoples, including the foreigner, the eunuch, and the outcast.

Let us remember that these groups are naturally variant from the culture of the group they have joined or were born into, and may not be an easy fit socially. God therefore specifically singles them out for acceptance to worship. Can we do less if they live for Him, as He dictates?


Much later, in Matthew 19:12 Jesus gave 3 specific definitions of the term “eunuch”, including “eunuch of the womb.” That definition did not specify gender. Clearly both baby boys and baby girls are subject to birth defects from the womb. They are also susceptible to injury from toxins after they are born, or to castration, a common practice in Biblical times, as in “eunuchs made of man”. Most of today’s precious gender variant people qualify as both “eunuchs of the womb”, and “eunuchs made of men” (meaning chemical/toxin injury).


Neither Biblical scholars, translators, physicians, nor eunuchs themselves throughout past centuries were likely aware of endocrine disruption. They may have had no explanation for rare gender anomalies that did show up. In some cases these people were either revered or put to death. Therefore, the conclusions of many past or present translators and authors of Biblical expositions may not be accurate regarding eunuchs.


We need to turn to Jesus Himself for guidance on eunuchs. Jesus was careful to specifically clear up confusion when he provided the 3 separate definitions of the eunuch. He knew we would need that information (now!).


Centuries later, as society is inundated with toxins and chemicals that can disrupt the endocrine system and gender development, God has provided instruction to the Church regarding proper treatment of Godly gender variant people.


The implications for the entire Church of God are that the concerns of these children, teens, and older adults must be understood in the light of Scripture, Scripturally taking into account the Missing Piece (possible endocrine disruption) and other factors individual to that child. Those can be addressed on an individual basis with prayer in a climate of love, respect, and support.


Families need to be able to turn to their church for nonjudgmental assistance, understanding, and comfort.



Shepherding Gender Variant Children, Teens and Adults


Scripture is very plain regarding the role of shepherds. They are to be open to information (not intentionally blind to difficult matters), and to have knowledge. They are not to be asleep at the switch, ignoring dangers that affect the flock. They are to have true understanding versus personal preference, superstition or outdated or irrelevant assumptions.


They are not to seek their own benefit but the benefit of both the individual sheep and the flock, perhaps at personal risk to themselves. This could include being misunderstood. They are to be willing to acknowledge novel challenges and adjust to protect the needs of the flock. They are not to seek their own gain, whether personal, power, or social standing vs. the needs of the sheep.

More than ever, prayer, Scripture, information, and understanding of the times and tears of their generation are required of Shepherds.

Church elders may worry regarding the "messages" sent to other young people if gender variant people are allowed among them. However, children and young people often deal more easily with gender variation as a matter of course.

Young medical and veterinary students are now taught endocrine disruption in their training. Knowledge of the Missing Piece, of endocrine, enzyme, and genetic and anatomical disruption, and other factors, is key to better understanding for everyone, perhaps most particularly for the older generation.


An effective response to young people observing a situation may be a simple statement that, “The person in question has not sinned. They suffered a birth defect or later injury, likely from endocrine disrupting toxins. Avoid those toxins, and accept and support the person in question to live a beloved moral life of significance and honor among us.”


 Here is a practical hint for those working with people who are both male and female: When dealing with individuals who are affected by endocrine disruption, it makes sense to avoid endocrine disrupting plastic water bottles during the conversation (and any other time).


Specific Concepts That Assist Understanding of Gender Variation


It is vital for church leaders and members to understand that lower body anatomy and the brain itself normally develop specific gender characteristics in several separate split-second time moments in utero. Today’s endocrine disruptors can interfere with those vital moments when the body chooses how an organ or functional part will develop as male, female or if there is an endocrine disruptor present, possibly both.


These interferences can result in precious individuals whose anatomical brain gender and body anatomy/function do not match. Unfortunately, today’s imaging techniques cannot pick up the differences well. Too late, autopsies do show the differences better and often confirm the insistent claims of the person in question.


What About Cases Throughout History Before the Industrial Revolution Brought a Higher Toxin Load?


There have been rare cases of gender variation throughout history (examples include “two spirit people” among American indigenous tribes, and “third gender individuals” in India, and others). These cases may possibly be due to twin related anomalies, inherited or novel genetic mutations, natural toxins including mercury, estrogenic plants, and other as yet unknown factors, etc.

In many cases the babies died or miscarried. If the anomaly was visible, in some cultures the infants were put to death. In other cultures, they were revered.


Nevertheless, the sudden increase in numbers in the past 80+ years is unmistakable.

Some point to very recent social media influences which undoubtedly exacerbated trends and fads, but higher instances of gender variance appeared long before social media.


Those affected early in the upward shift had virtually no support. It’s impossible to speculate how many of those dear people suffered silently until they took their own lives. Those with visible deformities at least had understanding and (hopefully) accommodation from society.


In retrospect, toxin burden increased with the use of mercury dental fillings, development of large cities with homes heated by mercury containing coal, and various industrial chemicals, heavy metals, and early forms of processed food.


However, after World War 2, leftover war chemicals were widely used as pesticides and herbicides on food crops, and as bug repellents liberally sprayed on children and in homes. Many of those chemicals were endocrine disruptors.


Now, in parallel, we have older adults in their 60’s and above who are both male and female, possibly affected by these chemicals.

Toxic exposures have now risen to catastrophic levels and statistics on gender variations have risen suspiciously in step. More troubling increases appeared in parallel with the use of GMO crops and their endocrine disruptive companion chemicals in the 1990’s. Other possible endocrine disruptive environmental insults have increased as well, including EMF’s and a high vaccine burden.


Is this trend simply moral societal degradation?


Certainly, societal degradation is led by Satan himself, and he is abominably clever. Surely, he and his minions were present in corporate chemistry labs, closed-door policy meetings, regulatory agencies, and many other corners of society, education, etc., that have all played influential roles in the promotion of environmental disruption of gender. Our babies, children, and teens have, through no fault of their own, borne a significant brunt of these horrific exposures and policies. The damage to our children is not only gender-related but includes serious degradation of their overall physical and mental health.



What specific classes of chemicals and products are endocrine disruptors?


Under the microscope in the biomedical research community is a laundry list of endocrine-disrupting, often estrogen/hormone-mimicking substances. They are shown in labs and in nature to be capable of altering gender-related hormones, redirecting anatomy, disrupting attraction, and even mutating chromosomes, as well as causing other non-gender-related health effects that may target various tissues all over the body.


This includes the bones and breasts, thyroid, pancreas, reproductive system, and other hormones and glands and their functions.

These estrogenic and other hormone-, enzyme-, and chromosome-disrupting chemicals and endocrine disruptors include many pesticides and herbicides, artificial fragrances, sunscreens, flame retardants, most plastics, dry-cleaning chemicals, PFOA coatings, makeup components, hormones flushed into our water supplies, soy-based meat substitutes and other estrogen-mimicking plants, soy baby formulas, drugs used to induce labor, and vaccine ingredients.


Also included are mercury and other heavy metals, toxins, chlorine, fluoride, bromide, artificial estrogenic drugs such as diethylstilbestrol (DES, given to cattle and pregnant women for decades from the 1930s into the 1970s), DDT, PCBs, dioxins, and now hundreds more. Some of these hazardous chemicals mentioned above are off the market but still persist in the environment. They are often stored in our bodies and can be passed across the placental wall to future generations.


As mentioned above, genetically altered crops with their accompanying endocrine-disruptive chemicals, and artificially altered viruses, add to the list of possibilities.


There is growing concern regarding the use of human DNA particles in vaccines. These are harvested alive from the flesh and organs of living aborted baby girls and boys (the babies die in agony) and are cultured and replicated. The particles are injected into the bloodstream of living girls and boys. There is concern that they may be capable of influencing gender development events by insertional mutagenesis. This is known to take place in utero in cases of chimerism. Much more gold-standard research is needed. This has sparked a great deal of concern and controversy.


We need to cry to God for mercy and learn, listen, comfort, and help our gender-variant children and their families. (We also need to avoid these immoral gender-disrupting substances.)


More on infants, children, teens, the media, and gender correction strategies


Misunderstandings and misinterpretations of the terms “children” vs. “teens” used in the media regarding gender-affirming strategies (hormones, surgery) may confuse many listeners. Teens are labeled “children” without specifying age. Without that distinction, many misunderstand the term “children” to include preschoolers and grade school youngsters.


To clear up false impressions, WPATH (World Professional Association for Transgender Health) Standards of Care recommend a minimum age of 14–16, depending on the child, for cross-sex hormones and a minimum age of 18 for surgery. Government regulatory agencies have recently raised the age limits for these invasive procedures until the child is of legal age.

Practically, however, per insurance companies, young people are not considered fully developed, mature adults until they are about age 26.


If a conflicted young person can be content with persona transition and delay permanent anatomical alteration decisions until fully mature, their brain and physiology will likely work more accurately in their favor as they consider lifelong coping strategies.

Older transgender/intersex adults are far more hesitant to undergo these procedures due to the many difficulties. They often content themselves with persona transition and hormones, although they would be happy to be rid of unwanted anatomy that does not fit who they “are.”


To emphasize, small prepubertal preschool and grade school children do not receive lifelong physical alterations such as surgery or hormones. (Infants with obvious non-functional birth defects may be risky exceptions.) The media does not make this distinction in its use of language (small children vs. teens), which creates a lot of emotional societal confusion in public perception.

To repeat, for many reasons, gender-variant people may settle for only persona changes or persona plus hormones. They may skip surgeries for understandable reasons, including cost, pain, high possibility of infection, occasional death, and the complicated, difficult lifetime maintenance these procedures require.


Nonetheless, most truly gender-variant persons wish to be rid of anatomy that does not match who they “are.” They suffer extremely, in ways that are hard to communicate—how difficult it is to live both male and female. They never feel “right” and liken it to the dissonance of wearing shoes on the wrong feet (but much worse). They do not recognize themselves in the mirror and are never at home in their own skin. Successful surgical outcomes do help them deal with life, or surgery can be a living nightmare. However, in most cases, even with positive treatment outcomes, the challenges of living both male and female never totally disappear. Prevention is still key.


Transition regret does happen, even if treatment choices are hormonally and/or surgically successful. This happens especially among younger individuals who may jump in prematurely. Among the true, mature adult gender-variant community, it is rare. There has been ample opportunity for older, experienced adults to thoughtfully consider every progressive stage of their situation and the ramifications of drastic measures. To repeat, transition regret in older age groups is much less common.


Balancing the advantages of delay until adulthood is the reality and risk of dangerous levels of depression in a seriously variant young person who is not yet an adult. They may suffer severe dysphoria or suicidal ideation. Professional and spiritual guidance are needed to sort out necessary coping strategies and interventions. Prayer and loving social acceptance may assist a sufferer to either wait until they are fully mature or to face earlier difficult procedures.


Thankfully, God offers wisdom, comfort, and strength to follow Him in confusing and troubled times, and to honor His example and His perfect practical designs in our churches and homes. We can still trust our children to His gracious, open arms of love, His perfectly balanced understanding of them, and the ultimate safety that reaches beyond these imperfect lives into eternity “with Christ.”


Raising Ryland
by Hilllary Whittington (mom)


A true life account of the struggles
of a faith based family as they deal
with their young transgender child.